Road Trip!

Ah, one of my favorite past times... (at least when I am driving LOL ) under the category of lessons learned - I of course would never drive in this country... they drive like birds fly... so close to each other - one could truly open your window and touch the passenger in car beside...

So for this road trip hired a car - complete with driver...

I have often felt that things in our lives aren’t always about us but rather those around us... I was so tired after a long work week - didn’t really feel like a 3 hour drive...to Bandung (yes, back to visit my friends) but Grandma's voice echoed loudly, "I don’t regret the things I have done, rather the things I didn’t" - it has really become a credo in my world... besides, who knows will I ever have the chance again... plus I wondered how much the site missed me - the real me or were they having problems and they missed me the trainer me. I speculated it was a bit of both.

So Friday night around 6:30 I climbed into a cab for the journey, my driver, a man mid 30's had addressed me as ma'am at least 5 times, and we hadn’t even left the hotel parking lot. Please call me Carol - or this will be a very long drive.

I started chatting, even babbling about nothing, just polite small talk. As we made our way he became more comfortable. His name was Rio - and he was so pleased to be taking me to Bandung... he even traded with another driver who was scheduled to take me. Wow you must like Bandung... he explained that Bandung was his hometown, and that his father has had 3 strokes since January and he hadn’t the means (money, transportation or losing the time at work) to go and see his father...

We talked of relationships with parents, and were both able to reflect that looking back on our childhoods - the memories are joyful. He mentioned that his father was disappointed in him, and that he had expected his son to be more of a success. It made me sad to hear - I asked what was it your father wanted? More he replied more, more like him. We drove on, now and then forced to stop as traffic ground to a halt, but it made more time to talk...

Rio holds a degree in architecture, but there is no development here to pursue his passion... so he drives cab to support his wife and son...A responsibility that he takes most seriously. I asked if his wife wore the traditional Muslim coverings, he scoffed and said no... I don’t think that way... if she wants to wear it she can wear it...if not that is fine, if she wants to work - work if not that is okay too!

Wow, I was surprised, that is very open minded thinking I told him... he continued, She is not required to make my dinner - if she wants to great - if not I can make my own... (The more Rio talks the more I like him LOL) then he said a phrase that will stay with me a very long time... I married my wife not to be my slave but to be my best friend for life... I nearly cried... not many men (sorry guys) could express that so well... and here it is coming from a MUSLEM man... such a different perspective than that which the media back home feeds us... guess we will have to stop stereotyping...

The conversation lulled for a bit - then Rio said wistfully, when I was a boy, every night when my father came home from work he would bring me some candy - just a piece, one piece - and I remember how special that made me feel... I do that now for my son and he smiled... “Have you told him that?” I asked. “Who?” “Your dad…” I said. “No” he replied, surprised by the idea… well I think you should, I told him… it is important that he know that…

We talked of politics, and religion, food and pets – pretty much anything and everything. As we neared the city of Bandung… he remarked that his dad would be mad… why? (I was stunned) because it is so late… (About 10pm) and I will wake him to say hello, talk with him when he is tired but I must return to Jakarta tonight so will leave at midnight.
He sounded so sad – hey… I have an idea… I need a ride back to Jakarta on Sunday… if your company will charge me the same rate and guarantee you as my driver I will hire them…I want to go back around 1100am – you could come early and visit your family for a while… he was stunned… but very excited… okay I will call my company…great you tell them ONLY if you drive me… LOL

So I arrived safe and sound in Bandung… it was like old home week… I got lots of hugs, and a few questions regarding the system… but the hugs outnumbered the questions…

Finally, I climbed into bed… exhausted but feeling very content.

The next day, I had coffee and ‘fresh air’ with the controller, and my dear friend Mala joined us… Mala and I were hungry so opted for the Thai restaurant across the street. The day before (Friday) was Mala’s birthday – so I of course offered to buy lunch. She told me in Indonesia that on your birthday you buy others lunch – I thought she was kidding. Nope you bring goodies (cake or cupcakes) for all – not they for you…totally the opposite of what we do in the west.

We talked and laughed all through lunch… I am always respectful of others beliefs and culture – and am very careful to never say what they do is wrong rather different than what I know… Mala knows this about me… so when I said her birthday tradition was wrong… *big grin* she nearly fell over – I continued, you have so many western influences here… I think you should take advantage of this one… and snatched the bill away before she knew what was happening. LOL

After lunch we went for a concert… at a traditional Sundanese music school, the performers are all under (my guess) 18 years of age…

The real show lasts nearly 7 hours – yes 7 hours (sorry my butt would be asleep). This afternoon show was a sampler - there was dancing, a puppet show, and wonderful music – played on an instrument called ‘Angklung’

It is made of bamboo and the length of the bamboo determines the note that will play…each member of the ‘orchestra’ plays one note. Mala was a great hostess – explaining what exactly I was watching…

at one point the group danced out, playing their instruments, with one little fellow probably 4-5 yrs on I think it is call a "sultan’s chair” hoisted into the air on the shoulders of those who carry it… as I watched mesmerized by the color of the costumes, the music, I imagined that this was some type of ancient dance – done when Indonesia still had kingdoms, and the boy king was being crowned… ahhh not quite… Mala explained that this in fact was the ritual dance done at the celebrate party after a young boy was circumcised… not quite as romantic as in mind…I mentioned that in the west that is done while the baby is quite young, often at birth…

After the performance, all of the audience was given an angklung and taught to play, so the audience was able to perform a short song with of course the direction of a conductor - it really was quite fun. The wouldn't let us keep them :-(

It was great day...but over too fast...

The next morning it was time to return to Jakarta. My friend Rio picked me around noon - he had a nice visit with his family - who were pleasantly surprised by his second visit.

And then I was back in Jakarta, a new work week ahead... and a visit from my boss to look forward to..